So much of our overwhelm, our anxieties, our worries, and our unhappiness is birthed by the fact that we think we have to figure it out all alone. A lot of people feel that they’re left in the ocean on a raft and have to figure out how to get back to shore. It’s part of the incredible stress we face, which leads to worrying, suffering from not being able to sleep or ever relax, and a general feeling of being off-balance, as if you’re walking on a wobbly floor and you don’t know when the floor will collapse. Fundamentally, we don’t really trust ourselves, or in a higher power that has a plan — to have our back. Part of the reason we don’t trust it is because we’ve never really cultivated it. If you’re on a raft in the ocean and you’ve never learned how to swim, it makes sense that you’d be scared. In the same way, if you think back to your childhood, you may have been raised and educated to feel that it was you against your teachers, the rules — the world. Therefore, we have developed layers of protection around ourselves.
At some point in my life, in my early 20s, I became very aware of God’s presence in my life. And let me clarify what I mean by God: As my mother used to say, “Know yourself, and know something larger than yourself.” I became aware that there is a larger presence — a spirit, a soul, a divine intelligence, a cosmic energy. Call it what you want, but do call it, and give it a name that works for you.
I realize now that this “presence” and I have always been connected. In my books, Wake Up to the Joy of You and Unbinding the Heart, I wrote explicitly and candidly about this experience, and my journey since then. Ever since my path has become very much about letting go of the judgments, the limiting beliefs, and whatever hindered me from fully knowing and trusting that presence. Instead of identifying with my personality, thoughts, emotions, and what I call my general “Agapi-ness” — my wordly self had to be integrated into that higher knowing, and I had to practice it and live it everyday. That presence can guide me every step of the way. Like the rest of us, I’m still in the process, of course, but I feel that I’ve found my bungee cord to my source that carries me through life.
Recently, I was going through a pattern that was pulling my energy down. I could feel it pulling me under, and I was having a hard time getting myself out of it. So I treated myself to my favorite “safe carbs” — three rice cakes with butter! It’s amazing how our favorite comfort foods make us feel better. Out of the blue, Siri asked me, “What can I help you with? Go ahead, I’m listening.” I immediately chuckled. There it was again — a little sign from the universe that I could ask for help.
So how do we seek help? For starters, we have to get very quiet so we can access a deeper place of our consciousness that we are always connected to. One suggestion is to take your hands and place them on your heart and your belly, and start to pay attention to your breath. Instead of rushing to the carbs, or the judgments, or the fear and emotional intensity that come with the pattern you are experiencing, you can call your attention to that deeper place.
It’s amazing how simply stopping for a moment and trusting that you can ask for help can make a difference. It’s like you’re offering a prayer at that moment. People typically associate prayer with religion, but it’s really an internal request for help, and a moment of gratitude. It is the golden bridge between us, our worldly human self, and the wise, loving intelligence in us. This golden bridge is available to us 24-7. By acknowledging that you are alive and breathing, and coming into the appreciation of the most simple things, you open up the space to receive the guidance. However, the ego will fight us. The ego thinks it’s KING and it thinks it knows best, but we must tame it and help it relinquish control, trusting that if we work together, we will be lifted. In that day, one more time I awakened to the fact that I was not alone.
As a result of my asking for help, a friend was visiting from Los Angeles the next morning, and we had planned to have breakfast. There in my apartment we sat and talked, and I confessed to him the pattern I was going through. I cried and opened up, and he had wise words for me. I let him in, and I was lifted. When we ask and trust that we are not alone, help comes in the most extraordinary, unexpected ways, but we must first let love in. No matter the questioning, hardships, rejections, or insecurities — we are never alone. We are all deeply rooted in the consciousness of a higher intelligence that created our 37 trillion cells that allow us to breathe. It is beyond anything we have control over. We are never alone — and if you make that your living mantra right now, your life will be transformed to the bounty that is yours to have and experience.
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